A Story: Religion and RaH

For my whole life, I have avoided religion. That's not to say that we are desperate enemies, but more anonymous passerbys on the busy streets of life. Yes, we've had our run-ins: a Sunday or two with relatives in a Lutheran church, awkward "Grace" at other families' dinner tables, a few years in Unitarian Christmas plays, and awesome middle school trips to hostels and sister churches in foreign locations. For the most part, Religion and I know relatively little about each other, and we had a comfortable, unobtrusive relationship. It leaves me alone and I do not badger its image ruthlessly in my own home or patronizingly in public. Our agreement is unbinding and completely consensual. Or so I thought.

Lately, Religion has been getting in my face: pushing me down stairs, tripping me up, and trying to pick a fight in general. A fight is shall receive, by george. But I'm not sure what to do just yet. You see, this has never been a problem and I have never equipped myself for defense.

Though I am not a religious person, I am spiritual. I have faith in life, in the natural order, the "way" of things. This might sound a bit like the Tao, which I like to identify as a philosophy. I love to involve myself with Philosophy because it is curious, and diverse, profound, and knowledgeable. It doesn't force you to believe one thing or the other, and twist your arm when you're wrong. I like it because it is a force that lives in you. Your ability to discern and search and, ultimately, decide. This is the opposite of Religion.

Now Religion, I'm not saying that you're unattractive, or a bully... but I will if you keep up your shenanigans. Just yesterday I went to a leadership clinic. It was nothing particularly notable, to be honest, except the last segment I was involved in. We were asked to write down adjectives for "Leadership", "Religion", and "Spirituality". I see each of these as very separate from one another, yet it was my job to understand how they were all deeply related. After the course was finished, I explained that I did not see the influence of Religion on Leadership. Apparently I had missed the entire point. But our instructor did not enlighten me, instead saying that I should talk to her afterwards. There was an implication that leaders must be religious. That your choices are influenced by your religion. But I am not religious, and I make choices. Does that mean that they are all wrong because they are not informed by a higher, nameable power; not to mention a vast network of people that don't know me?

I have a friend. He is a very dear friend of mine. He is religious, and has vowed to a choice in his life. A "permanent" choice that excludes others of different choices. I think, "Wow. That is dedication, to choose something when you are very young and ignorant, and stick to it through your whole life. Even if you chance to learn of something better. That must be Religion." But, when I asked him why he had made a lifelong choice he explained that his friends had as well. He continues making this choice because his parents told him to and so do his friends. Doesn't sound like a young man at all, does it? It is quite a telling example of Religion. He doesn't live with this choice because he thinks it's right, or because it says so in the Bible, but because his friends do. That is Religion. Doing what your told because someone told you to.

Really, it shouldn't impress me that Religion is making such a battle for my eternal soul at the moment. As long as I have never associated myself with a religion, people have equally tried to associate me with one. "You're Protestant or Catholic? Oh, Unitarian church? What's that? Like Puritans? No? Oh, okay, so you're Buddhist..." Rarely can people understand that I do not affiliate with a religion. In the same leadership workshop, the activity director gave us a handout at the end. On it was a suggested website to identify your religion.(Posted below) "Oh, thank GOD. Now I FINALLY know. I have been liberated from my own tortured soul for some other force to look after me." Like finding a pregnancy test to be negative. "THANK GOD." It's as if you need one, like a social security number. Otherwise you "technically don't exist". People want to be tolerant of any religion you are, to debate and ask questions or start wars, but they cannot be tolerant of your ultimate personal decision, to identify as an individual. They want to know your group, category, and NA is not on the list. If you don't belong somewhere in here, then you must not really be here at all.

Ultimately, I have decided to answer Religion's challenge with faith of my own. Apparently, these set of challenges have been laid before me, perhaps because I have so successfully avoided them my entire life, and I've got to deal. There are obstacles that one faces in one's life that will not resolve until they are confronted. So I'm preparing to engage in this dirty battle for the ultimate freedom of belief.

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