My Period Thinks It's A Rockstar

My period likes to show up for special occasions, often uninvited, but dressed in a tuxedo with guitar and amp in hand. "Hey, good to see you again," I'd say. "Boy, you look classy... Whoa, hey, what's the guitar for? You can't bring that inside."
"Sha baby, I'm ready to rockn'roll, and you got tickets in the front row!"

Alright, it's not really invited but, when I look on my calendar, it was scheduled for a visit that week. What I don't understand is how "that week" is always finals, or the first week at college band camp hell, or prom weekend, or Sadies, or the first week of track, the week we traveled through Bosnia and Croatia, or my stressful excursion to New York schools. Really, I must be doing Period a favor, time and time again, even though I have never received one iota of gratefulness.

I guess Period is doing something for me too. Not just keeping me an unpregnant woman, but keeping me straight. No, not heterosexual- honest. It makes me stick to my commitments. Period was, somehow, invited, and Period will come along. It just never wants to miss a single one of my important events.

In fact, my Period could even be a best friend. It is with me at all times, inadvertently. It shows up on time, every time, for big events. It keeps its word and teaches me to keep mine.

So, when I answer the door and politely say, "Welcome, you're just in time. Please have a seat," and Period, instead, smashes its guitar against the walls of my uterus screaming, "I'm Peter-fucking-Townshend!!" I just grimace and bear it. After all, who else is lucky enough to have a friend this devoted?