Appease yourself.

Only a few days ago I sat at my kitchen counter. My sinuses burned and my eyes watered with the enjoyment of wasabi peas. When I regained my vision, I noticed the bag's label:

"WASABI PEAS: A DELICIOUS COMBINATION OF SPICY WASABI AND CRUNCHY PEAS."

I was struck by this incredibly accurate description of its contents. Subsequently. I felt a little ashamed that a bag of peas has a clearer description than I do. 

I wondered, 'If I had a descriptive label, what would it say?'

WHAT WOULD YOURS SAY?